There are a lot of things that I stuggle with, but the one that I struggle with the most is anger. It seems to always creep back up if I am not careful. I have really had a lot of victory in that area. But I have to say there are days I just want to unleash it and let it fly(and I am sure there were days where I have done this)
My kids lately have gone from bad to worse it seems like. When I started on my Anger Journey there was some ruff area's one that I had talked about yesterday was becomeing a door mat to my children. Now I struggle with them talking the me in a manner that would shock anyone, and let me tell you it is hard to hold my tongue when they do this. I just wait a sec and then I talk to them or make them sit for a period of time. I get so frustated because I am dealing with the same issues over and over again.
I just have to keep in mind that I am not a lone. God would not give me these children to raise and leave me to do it alone. He is with me and he is guiding me and as long as I let him help and let him guide me then he will. If I try to do it on my own then it will get messy. That is probly why I am having so many issues with the kids now. I keep trying to be the one in charge but in all reality I am far from that.
I have a real problem of feeling as though I always have to be incharge. I can remember even as a little child being like this. Which as I got older it just kept getting worse. Which is one of the reason why I deal with Anger so much. If I feel like I have no control then I get very angry which I use to be angry all the time and that would be because I have never had control at all.
The more and more I go down this road to learn how to control my anger and use it the way God intends me to the more God show me new things that I need to Let Go!!!!!!!!!
Right now I am working on having a Meek and Quiet spirit. I am excited to work on this and scared all at the same time. I know that with change does come some pain so I will be dealing with some of that but I know that it will all be worth it.
I can do all things through Christ who Stengthens me!!!!!!!!!!
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Hey Brandy!!! I am following you :) Yeah I too have these anger issues, something I learned through some counseling and reading was that often anger is the secondary emotion to pain. When we are in pain and are not able to learn how to deal with it or learn from it, often it can turn into anger. I'm not sure if you may feel like that's an issue for you, but I know that for me there was a lot of pain growing up with my parents not being able to be completely whole parents and then combined with my strong will caused deep resentment and loads of pain. Now I am having to learn and battle through all of it, like forgiving them and myself on a daily basis (which isn't easy). For a long time I didn't really understand what it meant to forgive, like HOW do I do that!?! And when I was reading in my Bible and read about the Lords prayer "our father, who are in heaven..." and also reading a few other pieces of scripture it finally dawned on me that I had to pray that God would help me to forgive them and others that hurt me as well as ask for forgiveness for when I have been wrong. and not just daily, but by each moment, and to recognize the difference between my selfish anger and godly anger. A few other things I am learning are that my body is out of wack, I need to pay attention to times of the day where I am weak, or times of the month, that means I should stop ignoring my doctors orders and take care of myself by taking the vitamins and supplements to help curb my hormones, as well as give me the energy to caring for everyone, AND exercising my body & brain. I am really horrid at this, I dont know why I can't seem to put my body's needs first, if I did my family would reap a world of good from me.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your kids are speaking ill, you can change this, I believe in you!
Please know that what I said is out of my experience and not out of thinking that's what you need, I always hate it when people try to give me advice and it doesn't relate - that's not what I am doing, just here to support and encourage you!
God bless you Brandy!!!
Hey Brandy, I enjoyed reading your mom posts. Great idea!
ReplyDeleteI have always been really laid back and not easily offended/angered... until I had children. I think children are God's way of shining a light on my rough spots and sanding them smooth. :-) Miles (4)has a problem with anger so I started working with him on memorizing Prov. 29:11: "A fool gives vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." The Lord quickly showed me how I was being a fool and giving vent to my own anger. It's actually helped us both. Praise the Lord!
Now the true test will be how I handle the added stress of homeschool activities when we start back up in a few weeks. :-)
Anyway, thanks again for sharing. It's encouraging to know that I'm not the only one who is struggling to be the mom God calls us to be!
Heather