Consumed!!!!!!!!!!!

I have really been feeling God lately!!!!!!!!! I love to feel the feeling of the Holy Spirit consuming your body. It is the best feeling in the world. When I feel it it just gives me chills!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yesterday before I went and walked with my grandpa I was reading in Isaiah 45. And WOW

Vs 2 says "I will go before you and will level the mountains, I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron."

I have to tell you I really felt that yesterday on my walk. It was a really hard walk for me but It could have been way worse I think. I did 3.57 Miles and I was only thinking that at first that is was only 2 miles and I was feeling like crap because it took me a long time to do it, then my grandpa said he thinks it was 3 which made me feel even better then later he told me it was 3.57. Now God really did go before me and and level the mountains (Which for me are hills on my walk) and break down gates (the ones where I wanted to say I am done!!!!) .

Then in Vs 5 says "I am the Lord, and there is no other, apart from me there is no God. I will Strengthen you, thought you have not acknowledged me."

So the times that I am not even asking him for strength he is still giving it to me!!!!!!! How awesome it that!!!!!!!!!

Now there is another thing I have been struggling with. It has been really consuming me lately. I just can not get it out of my mind!!!!!! I hate that feeling!!!!!!!!! I feel like I think about it all the time, want to be close to it, see it, I ask God to take these thought away but they just keep creeping back up there. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

So I was reading Isaiah 1 today and it was right in my face.

End of Vs 16 and 17 "Stop doing wrong, learn to do right!!!" Okay then well that tells me right there what I need to do. Then it goes on to Vs 19 and 20 "If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land, but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword." So I have been resisting and rebelling and I need to turn that over and be willing and obedient. Alright Lord I hear you, but I still want to hold on!!!!!!!! So then I go on to read farther down and it is talking about in Vs. 29-30 "You will be ashamed because of the sacred oaks in which you have delighted, you will be disgraced because of the gardens that you have chosen. You will be like an oak with fading leaves, like a garden with out water" If I keep my mind set on this thing that I am allowing to consume me then I will be like a scared oak tree, a faded garden. I will eventually be nothing, if I keep being consumed!!!!!!!!

Lord I hear you loud and clear but it is so hard!!!!!!!!!!!

This thing that is consuming me has a real hold on me. I pray that God will clear my mind of it but then I know I don't really mean it. I do but then I don't. I know I need to give it up but then I don't want to either. I like it to much. I am sure you understand me. I know there are things in peoples lives that they know are wrong but they just have such a tight grip on it they don't want to let it go. But we need to. We will not grow if we are still holding on so tight to that one thing!!!!!!!!!!

So please join me and let it go. I will make things so much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!