I hate that I have anger issues. I want to be this person who talks calm all the time. Can deal with each situation as it comes. But all I seem to do is get angry. I will be doing great and then all of a sudden this other person just jumps through me. I hate this person!!!!!!!!!!!
I pray and pray, and I know that I am far from who I was a little over a year ago but this last 2 weeks I feel like I am this evil and scary Mother. I hate being this person and I wish that she would just go away forever. I am so frustrated with myself!!!!! I am far from the mom I so desire to be. My kids just push and push and push till I can not take it anymore and I just snap turn in to this other person. I start yelling then crying, I just want to run away. I wish when I was like this I could just leave but I can't. I am the only one here so I can not just leave them.
Lord,
You know me, you know my struggles. Lord be with me right now. I want to feel you!! Wrap your arms around me. Change me, Mold me to be a better person. Lord I need you today. I feel so out of control. I just want to run and run hard. Lord I am crying out loud today. I don't like who I am right now and I know I can not change me, I need you to guide me and carry me. Lord Thank you for being there for me!!!!!!!!!! And understanding me!!!!!!!!! I can feel my spirit calming already.
Love,
Brandy
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I hear ya 110%!!!! I do the same thing and wonder why does it never seem to end? I think this is part of the reason why I am escaping from homeschooling and going to put my kids into school, plus get a job and get out of being trapped in the house all the time. I don't know if it will fix anything or not, but I do know that I am not capable of feeling mentally healthy anymore doing the full time stay at home mom thing. especially now that my kids are no longer babies.. anyways.. I right there with ya sister - praying for you!
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