Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Here I am



It has been a long time since I haved blogged. I decided to start a new one. So here I am. It has been a year since I have written on here. My life as a mother has so many ups and downs it isn't funny. I have 3 kids that run my crazy some days. On here all I am going to do is share my life. I will always be honest about life in my home. Just a warning it may not always be pretty.






I have been dealing with issues in my life for many years. One of those are Anger. It is very deadly. I take it out on my children more then anyone else. I love them greatly and yet I know I have scared them. I want to be a great wife and mother and I know the only way to do that is with Christ by my side. So that Is what I am striving for. In the days to come I will share my life.






I went to a Hearts at Homes conference this last weekend. I felt Satan attacking me like crazy. It was hard getting through that weekend. I was with 2 of my bestest friends and I felt very distant from them and really just had a hard time just being me and opening my heart. Satin was really attacking me. When we got home I was so mad. I just felt like no one was there to be with me or understand my heart. I went to bed feeling pretty crappy. I was letting satin in. The next morning I got up and got ready for church (in which I really didn't want to go but had to) Things happened first off in the morning that I reacted to badly ( I bet satin was smiling at this point) I felt really bad. Then went to service and started to hand things over to God. I spent the day at my parents. Went home and went to bed!






Monday came and I started to try to be the kind of mom my heart desires. I kept my cool for the most part and was constant and kept on the kids pretty good. By the end of the day I felt like I was getting ready to lose it again. We went food shopping(which is never good with 3 kids) Jon met me half way through which made the rest of it go good. At dinner and put the kids to bed.






Tue. Came and I broke. What have I turned Samuel in to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More to come later!!!!!!!!!






GOD PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 comments:

  1. I am so sorry you felt like that when you got home. It stunk we didn't have very many workshops together, and that you walked around alone, for most of them. :( :( I am so excited at how God is going to transform the 3 of us!!! Just wait and see! :) If we rely fully on Him! LOVE you Lots!!!!!!

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  2. God is already working in us, BECAUSE WE ALL three decided to blog our journey.... I was sad too that we didn't have many workshops together. Next year we will plan this trip and really talk about the classes and see where all our hearts are, and where God is pulling us. I feel so blessed that God has put us together to battle this battle of anger, and come to him and lean on him. He knew before we did that we would need him and each other to win!!! Love you, and praying for you...

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