God's Strength

How amazing is God's Strength. You know I use to think I was a pretty strong person. I could deal with a lot. Well the older I get I realize I have next to no strength. I love to think I can do it all by my self and I don't need help from anyone or anything. Well as my mother says I have been like that since I was little. My first sentence was "I do myself". Who would imagine as a little toddler that I would already be showing who I was in side.

I still struggle allowing God to be my Strength and lean upon him everyday to get me through. You know if I were to do that everyday life would seem a lot easier because God was guiding it, But in my "I do myself" attitude I don't.

On of my biggest struggle right now is ANGER! It seems to rule me some days. Because of this I will yell at the kids all day. I hardly feel as though I say Kind things to my kids. It is always "what are you thinking" "How old are you" "THINK!!!!!!" "Do you realize what you just did" "Why in the world did you just do that" etc. etc. etc. I know I can not change this with out God's help.

I have started to do a Bible study with a couple of my friends it is called "She Gonna Blow!" by Julie Ann Barnhill. It is really opening my eyes to what I am really doing to my children. I AM ABUSING THEM!!!!!! Mentally, Spiritually, and I have Physically. I am an Abuser. Yes, I really did just say that. The last month I have really been working on this. GOD IS AWESOME. With his strength I have really changed the way I talk to the kids. Now I am not saying I don't blow like a Volcano sometimes but I can actually talk to my children with out yelling, Correct my kids with out yelling. I don't hold grudges against them, I LIKE THEM!!!!!!! Now I don't know if I could have said that A month ago and truly mean it. I am sure If I was asked "Do you Like your children?" I would have said "Of course" but I am sure I would have said that because I didn't want to look bad, or have someone think "she is a bad mom".

One of the things I learned at a conference I went to last weekend (Hearts at Home) Nichole Johnson did this skit on how your words affect your children. My word are burning my children like a forest fire. I am setting my children on fire with my words!!!! Like Proverbs 18:21 Says "Your tongue has the power of life and death" So I ask myself "am I giving my children life or death with my words?" I would have to say for the most part I was giving them Death!!!!!! But God is awesome and he says in Proverbs 12:18 he says "The tongue of the wise brings healing" So if I lean on Gods STRENGTH I can have wise words and Heal the burns I have caused them. WOW!!!!!!!! I don't have to live this way forever. My children will not be scared there whole life by the words I have said to them. THANKS GOD!!!!!!!!

So now I am started to Lean on GOD STRENGTH and I am getting ride of the words "I do myself" and I am trying to say " I CAN DO IT WITH GOD'S STRENGTH" I am trying to allow God to speak through me and not me, because my words mean nothing with out him leading them. My words are fire but his words are Healing. I need his words and his strength to live this life!!!!!!

I pray that who ever does read this will think about the way they talk there children, "Are your words giving your children Death or Life??????????????"