Well I am back!!!!!!!!

It has been a few months since I have written. Sorry it took along time to write again. A lot has happened in the last few months.

The last thing I wrote was that I needed to LET GO!!!!!!!!! Well I have to say I have really succeeded in that area. But to be honest I went from being a very Angry Mom to feeling as a door mat. I went from yelling to not saying anything. So now I am trying to find a perfect balance. I can not say I never get angry. I had a couple weeks were I felt like the worst mom ever. My kids were talking to me like I was scum, was nothing and they had no respect for me what so ever. I was such a mess. I cried, screamed, wondered what the heck am I doing. I was very angry that week. Yelling all the time, Trying to get control back. But that really didn't work as you can imagine.

Now I am starting to figure out a good balance. I have not figured it out completely yet but I am working on it. One of the areas I struggle with a lot is spending time with Jesus. I can be very selfish with my time and I really need to learn that I am nothing and can do nothing with out him. Well so now I am trying to find the time where I can schedule time with just me and Jesus. I tried to do 6:30 which works great but I have to say that I am not a morning person and I was very tired during my time with him. I also like to stay up late which I know i just need to stop doing that but maybe I should trying spending that time at night with him. (Okay that just gave me a good idea) That is what I will do. Sorry I am babbling.

Well I am now reading a book called Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit. I will tell you that is one thing I do not have!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay so what does Meet and Quiet mean.
"Meek" ---- "Mild of temper, soft, gentle, not easily provoked or irritated"
Well I will tell you right now I am non of these things, so God has his hands full right there. LOL
Okay now Quiet. Well If you know me at all you know I am far from this word :)
"Quiet"---- "Peaceable, not turbulent, not giving offense, mild, meek (oh there is that word again), and contented"

Here is a little prayer I want to start praying when I get up set.

"Lord, those little guys are at it again. Please, Lord, give me the energy I need to deal sweetly with them. Also, grant me the courage and wisdom to discipline them. I love them so much Lord!"

Now If I could pray this every time I got upset with he kids how much better would I be as a mom if I allowed Jesus to take over.

Well I am sure that you will hear more about this book as I read it.

Thanks for listening to me rant today. Have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!